Uh-Oh

It's never good when your dad leaves you a voicemail that says

"Was at a breakfast meeting at the Ritz-Carlton this morning and heard about your little Halloween party"

Looks like I might need to skip town for awhile and start going by my code name, Bootsy McGee

C

Maury

I'm working from home today and The Maury show just came on, I've I mentioned how incredible this show is? Today's topic is...

"My Man Has New Sex Moves...Is He Cheating??"

This first woman on the show claims that her boyfriend comes home with hickies on his neck. He claims that something was on the blanket that his girlfriends mom made him and it bit him. Sounds logical to me.

C

Stop.Sweating.Me

It was a year and a month ago at a friend's house party that I met this guy who I'll refer to as D. This was right when I was getting ready to go into what my friends refer to as my "Dating Rampage". D is a few years older than me and if I remember right works for NASA.

Since the moment we met at the party he was on me like white on rice, from looking back at my old posts on previous blogs I'm pretty sure he wanted me to tie him up and beat him. That could be fun and a great way to work out some anger issues but would I really want to be with someone I have to beat for fun on a regular basis? No, I wouldn't. We never went on a date because well he creeped me out.

He ended up dating a girl for a while and asked me via IM if I would have a 3-some with them that invovled tieing up and what I think was beatings (seriously buddy just go on craigslist, do not ask people you know through mutual friends to tie you up and beat you in a sexually violent way). So that weirded me out A LOT.

Then last week he sent me a message on facebook inviting me to the opera, seriously? How do you go from "I want you to wear knee high black boots and use whips on me" to "Hi I would like to invite you to an opera"???

Anyway he tried to facebook chat me tonight, I closed out and didn't respond. Now would probably be a good time to block him.


C

Pit of Death

When my siblings and I were younger and we'd take family trips we use to play this game called Pit of Death. It involved a hotel room and two beds, sometimes a roll away bed too. We would jump back and forth from bed to bed and try not to fall in between the beds. The rules were simple, if you fell, you died in the Pit of Death. We were so entertained with this game, one of us usually ended up getting a foot or arm to the face but that wouldn't stop us from continuing the game.

It never failed that we would usually get yelled at by our parents for jumping on the beds. I tell you this story not only to show you how the simplest things entertained my siblings and I (remind me to tell you about how when it would storm my mom let us take the metal canoe in the backyard and pretend we were pirates while my mother would wait inside for one of us to get struck by lightning, thanks mom) but to show you this sweet website I came across today

http://www.hotelsbycity.net/blog/bed-jump/

I'm going to Scottsdale for work on Sunday and I cannot wait to try out my Pit of Death jumping skills, I'm thinking I might dress as a ninja, however it just won't be the same without my siblings knocking the shit out of me while I fly from bed to bed.


C

New Orleans

I could tell you lots of stories about the trip to New Orleans but I don't know where to begin, it was one of the best trips of my life mainly because I was with a lot of the people in my life I truly love. So I leave you this picture, my favorite shot from the night

C

Silly Boys

I got a facebook message tonight from a guy I went on a few dates with about 2 years ago. I met him when I was stumbling home from happy hour and then forced him to take me to subway and buy me a cookie. He's a nice guy, in his twenties and big time republican (I lean to the left).

I believe it was the second date where we went back to his apartment and he played his keyboard for me. Don't get me wrong he was very talented and I might still have a copy of his CD somewhere in my disaster of a closet, but I really wasn't interested in him. Let's be honest if I'm drunk and you meet me and buy me a cookie I'm probably going to give you my number and then if you fail to continue to give me cookies from subway or vodka than this relationship is not going to last very long.

So there we were in his bedroom with tons of republican stuff in it and he was playing the keyboard and I was trying to figure a way out. He was trying to seduce me via keyboard and I was trying to figure out if I could shimmy down 17 stories of brick and then run across a highway. So what did I do, I tried to exhaust him so he wouldn't have the energy to make out with me by making him play every piano song he ever wrote.

Finally after the 20th time of me saying

"Awww that's beautiful, can I hear it again"

He said

"My fingers hurt and I think a few of them are numb"

That was our last date and we really haven't spoken since, and then out of the blue he writes me and says

"Hey Cutie! What's going on?? Long time no talk!"

Hmmmm, I think I'll just give him a friendly hello, although a sugar cookie from subway sounds amazing right now.


C

Gross...

This 39 year old divorcee who I went on a brunch date with last year just sent me a chat message via facebook saying:

"I just realized you have the longest tounge ever"

I chose not to respond, the sad thing is the guy runs a pick up class for men in the DC area...how sad


C